Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
