Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
