Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
