She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
