Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
