I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
