why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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