there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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