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So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
