Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just gargled with NyQuil
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
