I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
