left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
