literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We left the knife in your bed.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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