Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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