i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
