he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This is my gift to your gina
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
