we have pet lesbian snakes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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