Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize