I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
