forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
