The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
