hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
