I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is it because I queefed?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize