so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There was a lot of him and a little penis
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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