Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
