return my video game
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
