i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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