I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
