He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
