Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
