it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
