Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize