I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
