Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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