is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
