I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
