There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I smell stomach acid.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
