Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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