I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
