I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize