WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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