and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
