Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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