I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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