Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
