Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I lost the right to judge tonight
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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