Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
