I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
