It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
