dude i'm inner monologue high
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
