"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
