i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
