just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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