OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
