WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
