So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize