no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
