I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
