Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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