if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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