We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
birth control should be required to get into college
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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