There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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