Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
