Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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