if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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