There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
